Eoin
In August 2022 I asked for help. After years of masking the pain inside with alcohol, cocaine and gambling – with my children not really wanting to see me and my brother’s couch as a bed – I admitted I needed help before addiction took me where it was always heading.
My Story
My journey was not easy. You have to put the work in. You have to become vulnerable, get honest, dig deep. At the start I was a shell of the man, dad, son and brother I am today. Broken. Angry. Frustrated. Miserable. Unreliable, untrustworthy, a liar. Tormented, snappy, anxious, depressed, suicidal. I resented my children. I hated what I had become. I hated my life and everything in it. I hated myself, and I would call myself a failure every single day and wish I would just die. That was my addiction.
I thought there was no hope for me – until I asked for help. The bravest thing anyone can do. That changed my life. I was given hope and belief – belief in myself – and that alone meant more to me than anything. It spurred me on. Fighting the addiction, I developed the tools I needed: the awareness, the separation. My recovery has been truly unbelievable.
Today I am honest, trustworthy and reliable. Healthy. Calm. Rational. Proactive, productive, grateful. I am drink, drug and gamble free, and that is my decision for life. My plan will never change, under any circumstances. I am under no illusion what drink, drugs or gambling offer me. The equation is simple – I know the ending, and I will never go through that again.
My mum has her son back. My kids have a dad they could only have dreamed of. I am a fun uncle and nephew. It still feels strange when people come to me for a talk or some advice, because just over three years ago I was not reliable enough or present enough to be that person. I am grateful for that. My kids have a fun, reliable, ever-present dad. Work is great. Relationships are great. Life is simple, but amazing – and I would not have it any other way.
In December 2024 I relapsed through gambling for a short period. What came out of that has been incredible. In January 2025 I started a deeper healing journey – reiki, breath-work, cold water dipping, and a 12-week programme to work on childhood traumas and triggers. It taught me how to deal with things when they show up in day-to-day life, how to heal old wounds, and how to regulate my nervous system without turning to alcohol, cocaine or gambling.
It all started with asking for help. My life has done a complete turnaround since, and I will be forever grateful for my recovery.
How I support What We Think CIC
Recovery is possible, but you have to be ready to do the work. I share what worked for me in the hope that one part of it lands for somebody else who needs to hear it. If my story is the reason you finally ask for help, then it was worth telling.